friends

GOOD WAR !!!

| Vrush Dholakia

TO BE CONTINUED…..

So I went out with this PERFECT GUY on a PERFECT DATE. We had what everyone would call it, “THE PERFECT DATE”. This went on for a couple of weeks until one day I decided to talk about my past, AGAIN! Although I had told him everything about it earlier, infact I had told him everything on our very first date. To my surprise, rather SHOCK, he seemed to remember everything else except that.

I did not have a problem with him so graciously forgetting this minute detail of my life but what I had a problem with was the way he seemed to suddenly have a problem with my past. Everyone has their own choice to make and how they live with it is upto them . There should not be any JUDGEMENT. This was the principle I lived by and I continue to live by it. Little did I know that not everyone believes in the same. Because of this petty issue, we had a fight. And what might seem like a normal fight to everybody else, for us it was magnificent and definitely not in a good way.

We did not speak to each other for days and that turned into weeks. But somewhere I still had hope for us. We used to always discuss how we would celebrate our birthdays together and mine was coming up. So I thought we might forget about our egos for some time and celebrate, little did I know that the feeling was not mutual at that time. Not only did he not show up on my birthday but he did not even drop a single message or call. It literally broke my heart to see someone that I genuinely cared about not care as much. I waited for another day and then out of anger I decided to give it back to him. What other way could I think of other than the same old app, TINDER!!

If Tinder has taught us anything, it’s that people do derive pleasure from judging people’s looks and not always in a good way. You might feel like that’s a sure sign that people really are just shallow jerks. But when you’ve been raised to place such an importance on appearance, it’s hard to shake that old mindset.

Later I realized that he was upset with me because he saw my profile on tinder and thought I was cheating on him.

What I fail to understand is that I downloaded tinder after my birthday and that was only to make him jealous so where was he all this while? To this he had a crazy answer that his friend saw my profile on tinder a while back and to back up this up he even sent me a screenshot. I decided to post this picture and stated that it was a fake profile and that it was not me on tinder. But even that didn’t seem to make him believe that it was not me. So I finally came to my senses and realised that I have not done anything wrong so why should I give him an explanation, it’s not that I owe him one.

So finally I thought to myself that, “if you don’t move on from your situation now , tomorrow will be too late”. After which I decided to move on and he decided to come back in my life and apologize. You must have heard that there are always two sides of the story; Your side, My side and the other invisible side that is the TRUTH. We were so stuck up with the flattering ego in our boiling heads that we did not listen to each other until it was too late. That is when we realized that we were both to be blamed in this situation and not just one.

Well the good thing that came out of this was that i realized that not only was he a good guy but he also passed the “5 step test”. And everybody was happy by the end of it since we dissolved the issue and decided to give it a fresh start but as F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

So who knows what story is waiting for me next !!!

UNTIL NEXT TIME !

Five Step Method Towards Love or Friendship ?

| Vrush Dholakia

Have you heard about Bro- code ? Sis- code? In most cases the answer tends to be Yes! But have you heard about Friend-code ? 🤔Like a chocolate 🍫is incomplete without it’s cake🍮, like Jalebi is incomplete without Rabdi, like Diwali 🎊is incomplete without Kajukatri, like Christmas🎄 is incomplete without it’s cookies🍪, the same way life is incomplete without Friends. 👭

You cannot finish your meal without dessert. Chocolate cake or fruitcake or any cake or ice-cream is necessary or else your dinner seems incomplete🙅. The same way when you have someone in your life and the opinion of your friends matter the most. You cannot be with someone that your friends don’t approve off. 🙅

One such instance happened with me as well. I was crushing really hard on this one man🙇 who not only behaved like a gentleman but we also shared the same interests. A woman will always share all her relationship secrets 🙊with her best friends and I’m no different. I tell my best friends everything, EVERY SINGLE DETAIL. So naturally I told them about the guy I was seeing and they have a 5 step testing method. This method is by far reliable and totally BOGUS at the same time !💩 Blimey !! 👽

5 STEP METHOD :

1) See if he is into you or just your body : look at his eyes and check where is he staring or gazing – 👁️at your face/ eyes or your bust .👀

2) See if he ready to meet your friends or not : this shows how committed he is when it comes to you.👭

3) Is he talking continuously about himself or is he interested in your talks as well : does he give you a chance to speak or is he a good listener? 🗯️

4) Is he so eager .. eager to take you home or eager to know your good and bad habits 💥

5) After all 4 of the above steps – your friends should approve . They should allow you to date him or else they will make your life A LIVING HELL !!

No matter how interesting all this seems and how stupid it sounds to someone, it has actually worked for me and I know for sure that if I don’t try this by myself they will make sure that they know the answers to all these above questions.

Friends are like the sprinkles to my ice-cream, Ghee to my Roti, Butter to my Pav- Bhaji ; Totally unnecessary but without it your food would seem incomplete. Your friends play the same part in your life. Life is totally and completely incomplete and empty without them. 😌

TO BE CONTINUED …….

friends

End of Self Pity

| Vrush Dholakia
pity party

So what is the craziest thing you have done after a breakup ? 🤔Maybe eat a tub full of ice-cream🍧 or dive into some rom-com movies or just go on a solo trip somewhere or catch up with your friends 👫or indulge in a rebound. So I would not call it crazy but I have done something remotely annoying, I indulged in self-pity.🙊 And this is the worst kind of pity. It is easy to feel bad for someone else but if the person you are feeling pity for is yourself,well that is really hard. Self pity is not hard but accepting that you have already indulged in self-pity is extremely difficult. 😭

So what do you do when you have realized that ? So what I thought I could do is adopt a cute little puppy🐶 just to have a buddy, but my mother is terrified of dogs, so I had to scrap that idea. Now I had to think of some other alternative. I thought that I could read a book📓 and that would help me to understand what my next step should be. Alas! That confused me further more. Tired of my brains I went to the best advisor, “MY MOTHER”👩. She told me the only way to stop all the unnecessary self-pity was to start loving yourself💃😍. Yes,the exact opposite word of self-pity was the answer to all my problems, “SELF-LOVE”. 😍

So I joined the gym🏋️ and that is when I realized that not only did I love myself and my curves but also respected myself. The only problem was that I let a man define my behavior.🙅 This is a universal problem. We women let men decide for us, the way we feel about ourselves, the way we dress, the way we eat, what we eat, etc. What I find difficult to understand is, Why do we allow that?🤷 It’s not the man’s fault entirely. Nobody would do something to you, if you don’t allow it. If you tolerate the ill things happening to you only then will the person continue doing so. So technically it is your fault.🤦 You allowed this. 🙍

I decided to take a good hard look in the mirror and finally decided that I would not allow anyone to demean me. I would not allow anyone to tell me that I am not enough. “ENOUGH! I CHOSE ME NOW “🙏 . These were not just words for me, it portraits how I feel about myself.

My mother was reading out all the morning quotes that people send in the morning. You know all the good morning messages 💌sent by your entire family which fills up the memory of the SD card,💬🗯️💨 she was reading that and one of them read something like this “IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO, BUT IT IS ALSO FINE TO DANCE ON YOUR OWN”.💦

So to all you readers Self-pity is like the typical diet food,🤢 looks good on the outside but is completely bland when you taste it, you need to add something to spice it up just like you need to add something to spice up your life. I would go ahead and quote another one from FRIENDS (TV Show) (read my previous article to know what I am talking about),”IT IS A MOO POINT”.🤔 It is like a cow’s opinion, just doesn’t matter. Self- pity just doesn’t matter.🌞💯

Dating : A Dilemma

| Vrush Dholakia

As I go through all the other interesting posts, I have this fear that maybe dating and dating app has been the talk of the town for way too long. It makes me wonder why everyone would make this a HOT TOPIC🔥. I thought it was normal to be on a dating app. I thought that since I am single💃, I have a legit reason to be on this app. Little did I know that my choice or my preference would be questioned in this process. People have now assumed that dating apps are not meant for dating but are meant for hookups 🙊only. The problem is when I joined this app I was not aware about this assumption. Little did I know that just cause you like meeting new people and having a good conversation with them, I was inviting everybody in my vicinity to judge me- as I was on a Dating app or rather a “A HOOKUP APP”. 🙉💏

The person sitting in front of me was not judging me at all but the people around me surely were👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👨‍👩‍👦‍👦👨‍👩‍👧‍👧👩‍👩‍👧‍👦. It is quite confusing to me as I thought that the vibe 🗨️ of two people who are meeting for the first time is what matters the most and not what the people around you think of you two. It is like a fat girl is ordering for a pizza🍕. The girl might love💖 pizza and the pizza might love 💖the girl back, but who cares, it is what other people think that matters right. Aaarrrgghhh !!!😟🤢 I have always been on the heavier side so I completely understand both the situations and the unnecessary eyes👀 that are being laid on you makes you more uncomfortable than the pizza ever could. What if the girl who is eating a pizza has been starving🤔 herself for days and has finally found the strength to love 💖herself and the only person or people (in this case) that are building a wall for that girl to reach the final stage of self- love are the pedestrians👫🏃🚶 or the people sitting around her giving her the nasty look.🕵️

While writing this article, I recalled something that I had seen and fell in love with. We all are aware of the amazing T.V show Friends and for those of you who do not know about it, let me tell you what I was thinking, the scene where Joey was trying to enjoy his 🍕 pizza and he was told that ” a moment on your lips👄 is forever on your hips” , to which he responded by saying, rather shouting that “I AM CURVY AND I LIKE IT” and he proudly ate the last slice of pizza.

So to all you nasty onlookers, “LEAVE THEM ALONE! LET THEM DO AS THEY PLEASE”🙏. It applies to both the girl with the pizza and the two adorable people trying to connect.

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